(The things I write while trying to write what I want to write.)
I
I thought I lost you today.
Like The Almighty rewound my story before receiving your gospel
To the darkness that was my universe before you.
I don’t want to start over
Once upon a time doesn’t carry the same hope after seeing forever happily dancing into the sunset of the denouement.
There was this death.
This orgasm of lifelessness that shook the pits of my stomach
I couldn’t determine if it was God or I who was more selfish:
Him for removing His manifestation of love from my life
Or me for thinking I knew how to do His job better.
In that moment, I grew closer to Him and to you
Further understanding how divine omnipresence is
When the feeling of emptiness turned my soul black
I just wanted to hold you there like constellations.
Twinkling stars are His way of watching over You.
I guess even a deity isn’t too powerful not to blink
My eyes didn’t close with the hope of tomorrow
I fought death’s relative
Taking out the pain it caused on the good side of the family.
Maybe he would know the suffering of his work
But in that moment
I grew closer to Him
And to you
I wore darkness as a robe
My smile skeletal
It takes muscles to frown
Sadness decomposed my flesh until I became the grin reaper
Teeth bared
Beaming with eternity’s nothingness
You can’t fold the corner of a page in the Book of Life to revisit later
But I reread those paragraphs of us until my eyes gave up the will to live
And I became next of kin through slumber
If I wake and see your face
Then this tale hasn’t ended…
